Why does he make a federal case out of everything I say???

I bring up the fact that I don't agree with something, or feel hurt by something, and he freaks out on me. Why?!? We say rude, hurtful things and never solve any of the reasons... we just eventually move on. Nothing ever gets fixed. We can't figure out how to communicate better. What am I doing wrong!?!?!Why does he make a federal case out of everything I say???
I agree with broverman77.





If you plan on keeping this fellow around, then learn to Not share every opposing opinion and little hurt feeling.





Try to resolve your own issues independently. Try to say positive things around him.





He's definitely on the defensive, here....





His reaction, however inappropriate, is true. He has no idea how to fix the complaint, and he's too young to just go, ';Ok, hon.';





So he responds with the first thing out of his mouth, which,when interpreted, means: '; I have no clue what you just said or what the problem is. I have no clue how I am supposed to fix this for you....';





So do not verbalize negatives to him. Speak only positives.





Try to deal with things you percieve as as an ';issue'; independently.





Give the guy a break. I really don't think he has a clue as what to say to you.Why does he make a federal case out of everything I say???
I definitely would not have chosen this as best answer... but I guess ya snooze, ya lose... he's too young to just go ';ok hon';? Do you even know our ages??? Also, you were completely wrong in your assumptions. Sorry, but way off.

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Men don't communicate well. Once you accept that, life gets better.





We like to eat, sleep and fornicate. Not much else, really. The rest we do to meet one of the aforementioned objectives. Any man that tells you otherwise is either 1) lying or 2) delusional.
The thing you are doing wrong is waisting your time with the wrong person. It takes two to make a relationship work. And the word work is key. Relationships take a lot of work and a little bit of love each day. He is not willing and it hurting you. It is about control and he's got it. Move on, I know it hurts but you will be happier for it later with the right man.
Sounds like you are talking at each other instead of to each other. If you say rude and hurtful things to each other, why are you getting married, do you think it will get better? Maybe he has something else on his mind.
Opening your mouth.Try keeping your yap shut for once.And my ole lady just smacked me for that one!!
I would consider reading ';The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage'; and ';The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands.';





I think both of you need to grow up and stop the fighting. The reasons why things don't get fixed is because you two can't be mature adults to work them. So, stop the blaming game and get on with your marriage if you are married. If not married and you are fighting, then you need to separate yourself from him. Nothing gets fixed because you both don't make an effort to fix them.





Please read the books!
ouch - still engaged?





sorry but men hate confrontation - try and read a good marriage book about communication - now!
It sounds as if you are ';miscommunicating'; and not truly understanding each other. You each need to respect each other's opinions and listen better before you react. If you can't do it on your own, find a good marriage conselor who can help you both. Best wishes!